Yesterday we named the baby... Jalen Lee. Jalen means "Bird of Light" and Lee means "Sheltered from the storm". It seems fitting for our little angel that was taken to heaven before we got to hold it. Having a name helps me a lot. I think it helps us both to cope.
I feel a miscarriage, eptopic pregnancy, stillbirth, or the loss of a child is one of the absolute hardest things to go through. It rips your heart out and leaves you alone in a world full of people who don't understand. You lose everything in a matter of minutes. You will never again be the same.
I don't know how I would have made it through this last week without my wonderful husband. He stayed by my side during the whole hospital stay and has been home with me since. He went to work this morning, but came home the minute I said I needed him near. He has listened to me... hugged me... and told me he loves me. He has also helped me work through things I needed his help with, like naming the baby. He is such a wonderful man! And, all of this struggle, with losing Jalen, has brought us closer.
One day, I know, we will have a baby to hold, teach, and love as it grows. For now, I am going to be OK. I have the most wonderful husband in the world by my side and our baby Jalen in my heart.